Graduate Gratitude

These past few months have been a difficult and stressful period in my life, to say the least.  As I finished my semester, and particularly my Neuropathology of Speech and Language final, I had a totally unexpected reaction.  The coursework this semester had been difficult and the studying stressful.  I had done all I could and prayed it would be enough.  I took the final, felt that I had done as well as I could, and walked out toward my car.  As I passed through the outer doors of the building, I suddenly began sobbing.  I was overwhelmed, but not with sadness or stress or worry.  I was bathed in a warm, comforting feeling of gratitude and reassurance.  I knew I was not alone and knew with certainty that I had been literally carried through the semester.  There was no way I could have done this myself.  My loving Father, so keenly aware of me and my needs, had sent his Spirit and angels (from both sides of the veil) to buoy and support me.  I could literally feel the weight from the semester removed from my shoulders.  But I had not truly realized how heavy it had been until I could feel its absence.  I was not left alone to carry the full load while I had been called to bear it.  The yoke was shared and my burden lighter.  And so I cried, with joy and a thankful heart, to know that I was loved so much.  My gratitude to my Father in Heaven and to all of you whose prayers and hands made my progress possible is unspeakable.  Please know that though my words are inadequate, my appreciation for your love and support is profound.  Thank you, thank you!

OUCH! My heart! (Warning: Christmas Spoiler Alert)

Somehow I knew exactly what was coming tonight at dinner when Anya hesitantly told us there was something she might need to tell us after Christmas ... or maybe never.  Something told me immediately that a bit of the magic had died.  I knew this day was inevitable, but when she later came up to me as I was cleaning the kitchen and confessed in a round about way (and realized I knew exactly what she was talking about), I had to struggle to fight back a bit of my mommy tears.  After all, her biggest hesitation in telling us was that we'd feel bad, so I couldn't let her see that her growing up DOES make me a little sad.  I asked her if she was ok about it and she admitted she was a little bit sad but that "there are just some things you grow out of, Mom."  Apparently her best friend had accidentally discovered the stash at his house and they had worked it all out.  "I mean, we were just thinking...you know, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, it just kind of didn't make sense.  And then I was thinking about last year how the S on the present tags looked like Dad's writing.  And you guys just bought me the Rudolph bell..."  Guess Rudolph's horseshoe, still in the closet, came a year too late.  Who knew growing pains were for parents, too...

Our Family

Our family together -- about 2 years ago.  Sad, but this was the last real family photo we had formally taken.  I'm so bad about getting around to things like that.  (And no, I can't explain the psycho-posessed look in my eyes.  Sorry!)

Our last family picture taken all together  -- mid-August at Ama's house

One of my favorites -- Ian enjoying the sunshine on a beautiful summer day at Ama's house.
He loved nature and outside and we are so glad he was able to get out and enjoy it to the end.